要吃早饭喔

有点暴躁 十分胆怯 期盼温柔

EC鲨美两次《诺顿秀》整理(上篇)



两次诺顿秀整理(上篇)

Host: Now this, I mention this all along, the bromance between James and Michael. 

Is that all based on the X-Men, is that where it comes from?

Hugh: It was that one night,right?

James: A few too many tiamarias and tizers if you know what I mean?

Host: It’s like all great relationships, fans have given them names, do you know these names?

James: No, I don’t.

Host: OK, some call it Mcfassy.

Others call it, I quite like it, Fassavoy.

James: Fassavoy? I am liking that.

Host: Of course the classic,Mcbender.

James: That’s the name of the musical.

Michael: Or there will be a new burger comes out called that,(turn to James) our franchise.

Host: Have you guys seen the fanart?

James: No.

Host: Have you seriously……

James and Michael: I saw some you showed us on the way in.

Host: Yeah, I showed that,but this, this is nice.

(the first picture)



James: That’s terrible.

Michael(or Hugh???): That’slovely.

Host: They are such good pals, look at you Michael!

Michael: I know. That’s much better than the real photo you showed to me on the way in, that’s just scary,man.

Host: And, what if, what if craft services during filming, one of them gets hungry?

Right,you can share a cherry!

(thesecond picture)


James: Oh my God! 

Michael: Different artist,though.

Host: Different artist.

James: You never made mecupcakes!

Michael: No.

Hugh: What, what are youwearing, James, in this picture?

James: Show me again.

      Dungarees??? Am I wearing dungarees?

Hugh: You like dungarees,huh?

Michael: You did the baking,and I’m feeding you.

James: Why am I indungarees?

Michael: It could be an apron. 

You did the baking and I am feeding you.

Host: God, it’s lovely. 

Yeah‘cause you work hard all afternoon James, you deserved a treat.

James: So I am taking you cherry?

Host: Yes!

     Meanwhile, meanwhile, after filming, you’rejust relaxing.

(the third picture)



James: Don’t do this to me……

Michael: That’s...... I’mstressful.

James: What I’m saying is I know it’s tough being NO.9, it’s tough……

Michael: I’m liking saying,I don’t want to take a bath.

Hugh: So we’d like Bucky.

Host: Now here you are,baking, it’s rather beautiful.

(the fourth picture)



   Now, for some reason……

Michael: Someone is stirring  the dough.

James: Wait a minute, wait a minute, stop everything for a minute, mate.

Whoever created this I applaud you by the way, it’s beautiful work.

But, if anybody is giving…eh…(that’sme)

Michael: Look at my face!

Michael: It looks like what youare saying is ‘if anybody’s doing the giving it’s me.

Host: Yeah, I’m trying to bake here?

James: No no, it looks like a couple that have been together 25 years and they are like,

we’ve not have sex for a long time, and come on! Let’s try, let’s just try!

Michael: We don’t even take our pants off.

James: Where?

Host: But then, but then,this is even sweeter, what they do is they’ve got these various scenarios theydream up for you.

If you go to the fan fiction websites, and when I say the fanfictions, this is nuts!

Some of there stories are 250000 words long, that’s like two books!

James: About him and I?

Host: Yes.

James: Wow!

Michael: Amazing!

Host: So what they do isthey summarize them, so here is one.

James: Has Harvey Weinstein optioned them for a movie?

Host: He really should! So there’s one like…… ‘Michael Fassbender is a powerful man with powerful enemies.He asked the agency for the best they had. They sent him James McAvoy.’

Host( to Hugh): Could youread some of them out?

Would you mind reading some of them out?

Hugh: Okay, I was trying tostay away as far, but I’m happy to get involved.

Host: So this is, there area bit of scenarios for you.

( to Hugh) You go first.

Hugh: ‘After finding out James is pregnant with twins……’

James: I could do incredible things in this.

Hugh: ‘James and Michaelstart to learn how to balance upcoming parenthood and their careers with helpfrom friends and family.’

Host: See, it’s lovely. LikeI said, they are sweet, they’re creepy but sweet.

‘James and Michael decide toknit scarves for each other……’

M & J: That’s a good idea!

Host: ‘James is very good at it, but Michael ends up with something that’s definitely not a scarf.’

Hugh: I’ve got to read this,‘Michael likes certain kinks in bed, role play and costumes and scenes……’ 

I thought it was saying ‘scones’here.

Host: He’s mad about baking!Mad about baking!

Hugh: Oh, the cream!

Jameshas never really minded before, but this time, this night, he’s tired, he feels a bit ridiculous in the outfit,

and he wants Michael to want him, as himselffor once, just for tonight! As himself!

And I don’t want to wear the dungarees!

Host: Well, these are all about the fan fictions!

James: OMG! OMG……

I have more unrestricted moments in our relationship than I do with my wife

Host: That’s pretty good.


主持人:现在这个环节,我在节目一开始就提到了,一美和法鲨之间的基情。这,这都是以X战警电影为基础的吗,是这么来的吗?

休:其实就是那一夜是不是?

美:太多酒精饮料和咖啡因的结果,你懂不?

H:就像所有的美好情感一样,粉丝们给你们起了名字,你们知道这些名字吗?

美:不,我不造啊。

H:好吧,我们来看看,有的人叫你们为“Mcfassy”,还有人叫你们,这个我挺喜欢的,“Fassavoy”。

美:“Fassavoy”?我喜欢这个~

H:当然还有最经典的,“Mcbender”。

美:是那部音乐剧的名字吧~

鲨:或者是一种汉堡新品,(转向美)我们的副业。

H:你们看过同人图吗?

美:没……

H:认真的,你们没……?

美和鲨:就看过你给我们上台前看过的那些。

H:是,我给你们看过那个了,但是,但是这个很棒的。

(第一张图片)

美:我去,这是啥。

休或鲨:挺有爱的。

H:他们是多么可爱的一对儿啊,Michael你看你笑的~

鲨:对啊,这个比你之前给我看的那个好多了。那个可真是太吓人了!

H:并且,如果,如果你们在拍摄期间有人饿了怎么办啊?

你们可以共享一个樱桃!

(第二张图片)

美:哦我的天哪。

鲨:这是不同的画手画的啊。

H:是的呢。

美:你从来没给我做过纸杯蛋糕呢!

鲨:的确没有。

休:哎,你穿的是什么啊,James

美:啥?再给我看看,工作服吗?我穿的是工作服么???

休:你喜欢工作服是不是?

鲨:你在烘焙,我在喂你。

美:为什么我穿着工作服???

鲨:那可以是个围裙啊。都跟你说了你在烘培而我在喂你。

H:天啊,这多有爱啊。你都努力工作一下午了一美,你应该得到奖励。

美:所以,所以我吃了你的樱桃……?(cherry在俚语中有节操的意思)。

H:对啦!那么那么,结束了拍摄,你们正在好好放松呢。

(第三张图片)

美:别这么对我……

鲨:我的压力太大了。

美:我想说,我想说能排在第九很难,真的很难……(说的是帝国杂志的排行)

鲨:我就像正在说,我不想洗澡。

休:所以我们就成了巴基(隔壁Bucky)。

H:那么现在,你们正在烘培~这实在是太美了。

(第四张图片)

鲨:有人在揉面团哦~

美:等一下!等一下!一切都暂停!听我说好吗!!!

不管是谁画了这样一幅画,我为你的创作鼓鼓掌,顺便一说,画得挺不错的。但是,如果有谁是在上面的那个…………

鲨:你们看看我的脸!

鲨:那看起来像是(说一美的脸)在说,如果谁在上面,那是我。

H:人家在这里认真烘培呢?

美:不,不,不。那其实看起来像是一对已经在一起了25年的情侣,然后他们就像再说,我们很久没那个啥了,让我们来试一试吧,就只是试一试!

鲨:我们连裤子都没脱呢!

美:哪里哪里???

H:然后咱们看这个,这个更加的有爱了。粉丝们做了什么,粉丝们把他们脑内的故事写成了情节剧本。如果你去看看他们的同人网站,当我说同人网站的时候,这个真是太疯狂了!其中一些故事竟然有二十五万字,那可是两本书呐!

美:关于他和我?

H:是呢。

美:哇哦!

鲨:太令人震惊了!

H:所以他们会做个总结,这就有一个。

美:Harvey Weinstein没把他们拍成电影么?

H:他真应该这么做的!

这有一个,“Michael Fassbender是个很强大的男人,他也面对很对很多强大的敌人。他要求机构给他他们最好的人选,他们派来了James McAvoy。”

H(对休):你能帮我读一些吗?你介意不介意帮我读一些?

休:好啊好啊!本来我想能逃多远就都远的,但是好像还挺开心参与其中的。

H:来来来给你一些。你先来。

休:“在发现James怀了双胞胎之后……

美:我真是能做很多了不起的事情呢。

休:“JamesMichael开始通过家人和朋友的帮助,来学习如何平衡即将到来的家长身份和他们的工作职业。”

H:看,它多有爱啊。就像我说的,他们很有爱,有点点吓人,但是很有爱。

JamesMichael决定为彼此织围巾……

鲨美:是个不错的主意呢!

H:“James织得很不错,但是Michael最后却织出来了一个绝对不是围巾的东西。”

休:我一定要读这个!“Michael总是喜欢一些床上的情趣,角色扮演,情趣服装,情景扮演……”我本来以为这写的是“司康饼”呢。“哦,还有那个奶油。James是从来不在意这些的,但是今天晚上,他有些累了,他觉得这些衣服有些荒唐了。他想要Michael就和他,就他本人,那啥一次,就今晚!和他本人!

别忘了穿工作服哦!

H:好啦,这就是我们今天所有的同人小说啦!

美:我的天哪,我的天哪。

我和鲨之间的不可告人的事情,相比起来比我和我老婆还要多。

H:这不也挺好的~




啊啊啊终于发出去了,我整理个EC访谈,lofter说我有敏感词。你们说,一美都干了些什么。

然后折腾到现在,一句一句筛了过去,最后发现竟然是英文中的 同人画 这个词。我的妈。

看到这里的你,谢谢啦!鞠躬!

希望能带着学生党们补充些英语知识,做的时间长但是比较仓促,谢谢大家的包涵。

EC鲨美一生推,X学院永不毕业。



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